February 18th, 2010
Wow. It’s been 19 days since I last posted. And I’ve had my site offline under the guise that I was doing maintenance. By looking at the site, it’s clear no maintenance has been done. Same look, same content.
I really just needed some time to collect my thoughts. Deal with some stress. Decide if I’m brave enough to be a blogger.
I am.
Sometimes, life is painful. And the natural instinct is to go underground and hide out when pain hits. And that’s what I did in a sense. I just had to stop writing and let my brain function in a “freestyle” mode of sorts, rather than one that was always translating experiences into blog fodder. I also deleted my Twitter account (which is permanent folks — don’t do it if you don’t mean it!). Because (among a slew of other reasons) 140-character thinking was driving me nuts.
I needed to step back, take a deep breath, decide what to do.
So here’s a recap of the past 19 days:
I got a job offer. For a pretty good job — not in my field — that I’m certain I will like a lot. The demand for writers in my area is exceptionally low, so I feel lucky to have any job at this point. The compensation is good, and I will be working with my best friend — instant bonus.
I’ve been to six roller derby practices, and with each one I can feel myself improving. Other skaters are even seeing it. That helps me so much, and motivates me to work out on non-practice days. I am trying things I couldn’t do in the first couple of practices, and I’m about to buy my own skates. Rental skates are the devil, and they carry a special aroma we like to call “rink stink.”
Weight Watchers has been … interesting. I lost 3ish pounds my first week, and then found it all again my second week. But I’m blaming PMS and expect great results this coming Saturday. I’m doing surprisingly well with the “points system” and really like that I can eat the foods I like, as long as I count them and control portions. The exercise is an added bonus. I can feel the shape of my body changing — my husband even said last night that he can see it — so I suspect some muscle is replacing fat. ::crossing fingers::
Oh, and my kids are still amazing, as if you had to ask! My older daughter has joined derby with me, which is so special. We get to beat people up together. And my little one got suspended a couple of weeks ago for smacking her teacher across the face. That was challenging. But we’re dealing with the little hooligan. It’s hard not to laugh, just because she’s such a little badass. Derby-girl-in-training!
Anything else? Oh yeah. Costco’s dog food prices are amazing.
Later skaters!
Mimi
2 Comments | In: My Unsolicited Opinion | tags: Best friend, blogger, Costco, Daughter, job, Life, Muscle, Roller derby, Stress, Twitter, Weight Watchers. | #
November 11th, 2009
I like the show Friday Night Lights. I was happy when it got picked up for a fourth season this fall. Tonight’s episode contained a short segment in which a new character — an artist named Richard Sherman — ranted a little about the creative process. I really understood what he said:
“The most important tool an artist can have is selfishness. Because you’re going to spend your life trying to express some quiet, dark corner, deep, deep inside you. You will put aside love, God … life … in order to follow this craving. So my advice to you is to just screw everybody else and maybe you’ve got a chance.”
I always feel unfulfilled creatively. Always. And while I realize that a fictional character spouted off this dialogue, it’s still rings true. And is very hard to swallow as someone that doesn’t have the luxury of being an eccentric that welds in her underwear. I’m not willing to forsake all others so that I can be fulfilled. I won’t lie … I wish I were at times. But still, I get what the guy was saying.
No Comments | In: My Unsolicited Opinion | tags: Art, Friday Night Lights, Life, Selfish. | #
November 11th, 2009
Is it bad that I want my daughter’s pet fish to die? Because I do. I feel a little bad, but mostly I just hope it will enjoy a final meal of fishy flakes and then go belly up. Over a year ago, my middle daughter’s boyfriend’s mom (yeah) gave my youngest a goldfish for her birthday. Without asking me first. And since then, it’s been fish mania. The first fish died within a week. Apparently, its bowl was too small and it suffocated in its own pee. Or so the Petco guy says. Most likely, he wanted to sell me a larger tank. Which he did. The next fish lasted about a month. Then, death. I secretly replaced it, taking cues from the sitcoms I loved as a child, hoping my own child would not notice. She didn’t. Because she could care less about a stupid pet fish. But I had invested this money in this tank and, by God, we were going to use it! Fish number four, the one we’re on now, is a betta that will. not. die. He’s been around since early spring, and is lucky enough to be the only organism in this house without a name. Seriously, the plants have names, the children have names, but not this fish. Every morning, I come downstairs to find it floating near the top of the tank, and I secretly hope it has expired. I wish for it to be dead, so I can put the stupid tank on Freecycle and be done with it. But nooooo. That evil fish … one of a breed of mud-puddle dwellers that can survive drought and live in three inches of water … will not perish. I took away its aerator. I removed half of the water from the tank. It thrived. I have secret visions of it accidentally slipping down the drain while I am cleaning the tank and then — oops! — was that the garbage disposal I just flipped on? I even dreamed once that it “fell” into the toaster oven. I have issues. And fully expect PETA or DHS or both to show up on my doorstep in the morning. The important thing is that while I want to “dispose” of the fish, I don’t actually do it. There are many things in my life that I feel this way about. I fantasize about “Judge-Dredding” several people, but I don’t act on these impulses. So instead of resenting the defenseless little fish (or putting him in a Ziploc and secretly returning him to the pet store), I have taken a proactive step to bond with him by placing my prescription bottle next to his tank. Every morning and evening at 7, I feed him and simultaneously take my medicine. We commiserate about our sad little lives — his in a half-gallon tank of water, mine in a suburban nightmare — and together partake of the manna that sustains us for another day. I have nicknamed him “Noname.” He calls me “Mom,” since he really never knew his biological mother. And as much as I resent his presence on my tidy kitchen counter, I find comfort in sharing a few laughs with him. Every day — together — we just keep swimming.
3 Comments | In: My Unsolicited Opinion | tags: Evildoing, Fish, Friendship, Life, Pets, Resentment. | #
October 20th, 2009
Originally posted Wednesday, October 29, 2008
10 Things Every Woman Should Have Engraved On Her Brain …
– You. Must. Vote.
– Good enough sex isn’t good enough.
– It’s not a sin to win.
– You have much better friends than Ben and Jerry.
– You can’t change a bad boy. He can only change himself.
– Your body is a wonderland!
– Do it now; deal with the fear later.
– First rent, then shoes.
– Yelling makes it harder for people to hear you.
– Don’t get even. Get even better.
(From Glamour magazine, November 2008)
No Comments | In: My Unsolicited Opinion | tags: Life, Rules, Woman. | #
